Lavenglow's Safe Place Visualization

What is a memory that makes you smile? Like really light up cheesy smile? 😁😆

Just as the nervous system re-experiences trauma during flash backs and feelings like shame or sadness when we recall uncomfortable memories, we can also evoke positive feelings & responses from our nervous system by strongly visualizing good moments too!

This is an activity to guide you in doing just that.

This activity is also family friendly! It's never ever too early to help kids identify what joy and safety looks and feels like for them!

Firstly a little bit about visualization. Visualization is a tool used in various disciplines from psychology and spiritual work to sports and advertising. At its core, visualization is about transforming a mental image accompanied by strong feelings/beliefs into actuality. Most successful people use the skill of visualization to improve their lives and achieve their greatest goals and dreams. This activity will not only help you train your visualization skills, but will transport you to your very own oasis of peace and joy that you can pull out any time in the future!

Tools Needed:

Grab a journal or a sheet of paper you can take notes and doodle on. If you're an artsy bae, gather some pens, colored pencils, crayons, water colors, paint, clay, or whatever medium you want to help your vision come alive most for you!

To begin the activity -

Prep:

1. First let’s jot down some feeling words of how we want to feel when we visit our safe place. It can also be helpful to google a feeling wheel to find words that resonate deeply with you.

The feelings part of this whole activity is the most essential aspect to connecting your vision to your body and nervous system. The goal at the end of this will be to really sit in and feel the emotions you'd feel as if you are in the center of the beautiful space you will create.

Feeling examples: safe, warm, joyous, peaceful, free, confident, grateful, inspired, refreshed

2. Think of a place or moment in time when you felt specifically happy, joyous, safe, content, calm, or at peace. This scene can be a great place to start forming your safe place visualization. You can use the place itself as your starting vision or you can simply borrow elements of this vision for your safe place.

Now i understand if you've had a tumultuous past, this part may be difficult. However, usually there is at least a snapshot or moment in time that you can pull out of your memories where you felt safe, joyous or peaceful. A snapshot is all you need to build upon. Still difficult? Think of settings you have visited or would like to be. A picture of a lake, a beach, a secret garden, a glam luxury apartment with ceiling to floor windows, a boho meditation room with floor pillows and plant babies flourishing around - picture being in the center of that and taking in all the beauty of that scene. We've included some calming scenes at the end of this article to jump start your imagination.

While the memory you just pulled upon can involve others, I do suggest your actual safe place visualization be a place just for you! If you do choose to involve others in your safe place, attempt to only involve an uncomplicated relationship in this scenario as the focus is on safety in this tool.

Your safe place can be real or imaginary (I’ve had a past client pick a castle floating among pink clouds where no one could harm them) but I do suggest a real-life scenario/setting if you struggle with dissociation*.

Okay! You've made some notes of how you want to feel in your safe place and you've envisioned and evoked some of the emotion from the moment/place where you've felt some of those things. Now to create!

Creating your safe space visualization

1. Start with your setting.

Focus Questions:

Where does your scene take place? When you look around your scene, what do you notice? Is your scene indoors or outdoors? Whats the weather? What objects are in your scene? What are the colors and shapes around you? What are the textures? How many of x objects are in your scene? Paint yourself a detailed picture in your mind.

Some ideas to consider: Are there plush pillows in luxurious hues? Fleece blankets in your favorite colors? Is there a couch? or an oversized arm chair? or both? What color is it and how plush or firm is it when you sit down? Are there plants? Which ones and how many? What is on the ceiling? A chandelier, a fan, a mirror, hanging plants?

Maybe your scene is a beach. What color is the sand - black, white, tan? Is it fine sand or are there lots of shells? Is the water brackish or see through? What is the temperature of the water when you dip your toe in? Slightly cool and refreshing or warm and inviting like a bath? Are there palm trees? Or bushes?

2. What are you doing?

Focus Questions:

Are you sitting or standing? Laying down? What is supporting your body? Are you doing an activity? If so, what? How are you engaging in your scene? What sensations does your body feel while in your safe space? What is your most comfortable temperature? What else can you reach out and touch in your scene? What sounds do you hear?

Some ideas: Is the sun shining on your face warming your skin? Are you laying on a bed, or on the comfiest couch, in a field of grass or flowers? What is underneath your feet? is it warm sand, a plush shag carpet, a warm foot bath, a heated wood floor, dirt or maybe your feet are dipped into a gentle stream tickling your toes. Sky's the limit here. Do you hear music? The sound of nature and birds chirping? Waves crashing? A river rushing? Bees buzzing?

3. What do you smell?

Focus Questions:

Is anything cooking in your scene- a favorite meal, fresh baked bread or cookies in the oven? Is there a scent of honeysuckle or fruit trees from near by? The salty water smell you get wafting off the ocean water? Fresh air dried laundry or maybe even the scent of cologne or perfume of a beloved, safe person - remember when Hallie (or was it Annie?) is trying to create a scent memory of her grandfather in The Parent Trap? "Like tobacco and peppermint" she says.

What scents remind you of joy or just make you smile when you get a hint of them? Incorporate that (those) scents into your visualization!

Our sense of smell is so extremely powerful! Scents can evoke strong memories and feelings in us, thus scents can have a great impact (for positive or negative) on our nervous systems. We can even train our brains to associate a scent to positive feelings and emotions. To bring your safe place alive again and again, you may consider making an essential oil blend to pair with it! Doing this can not only help to more deeply ground you in your visualization when you revisit your safe place, but it can also later prompt the positive emotions you have cultivated in your visualization when you are out and about!

3. Are there any animals in your scene?

Focus Questions:

What animals are in your scene? What are they doing? How are they interacting with you, if at all? Are they there to comfort, heal, support, and/or protect? Identify their purpose to help you visualize their role in your scene.

While safe place visualizations do suggest steering away from having other humans in your scene, because of the complexities of interpersonal relationships, as we all know, animals can be extremely healing and even messengers and protectors. So if you have a fur baby that brings you the utmost calm and joy, you can most definitely place them in your scene with you! Maybe you have deep connection to more wild animals and you feel they are your protectors - if so, maybe the outer edge of your scene is guarded by those animals to ensure your protection and safety.

4. How do you feel? Connect deeply.

As previously mentioned, the feelings part of this whole activity is the most. essential. aspect to connecting your mind's eye vision to your body and nervous system. What we want to do is truly transport ourselves into our vision (if you haven't already through the above steps). For several minutes, relax in your scene as if you ARE in your safe space and allow all the feelings you'd feel while in that space to envelop you.

This may be a time to revisit your prep work. What were some of the feelings you first wanted to feel in your safe space? Safety? Joy? Gratitude? Bliss? Serenity? It's likely you added elements that evoke those feelings for you in the details of your safe place. Go back and add in more as you sit and recall what these feelings feel like in your body and how else the scene makes you feel or what other feelings you'd like to incorporate.

Go deep here. What does joy feel like in your body. Are there little tingles in your hands or feet? A warmth in your heart? Does your heart beat faster or slower? Maybe it was that sensation of closing your eyes, squinting them and feeling the sun on your skin that you can connect with. What does feeling and knowing you are completely safe and protected and supported in the safe place you've created feel like? What other emotions does it evoke? Go ahead and laugh out loud right now! Just have a laugh! What did you notice about your body? About your face? How does your body loosen up when you are laughing vs on guard or anxious? How do you hold and position your body when you feel safe and relaxed? Get in touch with feeling your desired emotions while in your safe place visual and experience what those emotions feel like in your body.

You can envision and go to your safe place when you need simply by closing your eyes and seeing and feeling all the details you put together.

5. Draw, Paint, or Collage your Safe Place! (Optional & Bonus fun step)

Draw it out, paint it out, design it on a computer, collage it out, or just write down as many details of this place on a sheet of paper. Create a vision board for your safe place. 🤗 Visualize 👀 Revisit your safe place during meditations, quiet time, or when you need a coping skill that increases your feelings of safety and peace.

Some final notes on this activity:

This activity is best visited the first several times when in a state of calm and contentment. Take three deep breaths before working on this to increase your calm. I wouldn’t advise jumping right to this tool in the midst of a difficult family gathering or a moment of distress if you haven’t already developed your safe place visualization and practiced sitting in it.

Once you build the positive feeling associations to your safe place visualization, the visualization can be used as a tool when you are anxious, distressed or in need of staying safe/not acting on a harmful behavior. It acts as a kind of meditation - focusing on bringing the mind back to a place where we have trained our mind and nervous system to associate with safety and joy.

Hope you all enjoy this activity and that it can bring you some fun, peace and a new tool during these times! Sending love, health & peaceful vibes to you and yours <3 If you enjoyed this activity or give it a try, i'd love to hear your experience with it! So leave me a comment, a message, or a DM on instagram to let us know your thoughts!

Light & love,

Gabrielle Smith, MSW

Owner of Lavenglow Organics

*Dissociation: a footnote:

Dissociation, as mentioned above is the mental process of disconnecting from ones sense of identity, thoughts, feelings, and body. Dissociation often occurs after or during trauma, especially prolonged trauma, as a way for the body, mind & spirit to shield/protect itself. While there is a level of healthy dissociation that all individuals experience (think day dreaming in a meeting or class), dissociation to the degree that one experiences amnesia, paranoia, distorted perceptions and significant stress or inability to live a healthy, productive life is a maladaptive behavior. Dissociation often requires more grounding tools to reconnect with ones body and self as well as further interventions to increase feelings of safety in one‘s body. If you are desiring help with dissociation, consider looking at our 1 on 1 healing packages. Free consultations are available on our website to assess if mental health coaching we offer is the adequate level of treatment for you.